I'm constantly overwhelmed by the amount of tedious and draining responsibilities come along with maintaining a social media presence - and this is just for work. And it's never enough. Long ago I accepted the fact that I would never be "good" at it, or would boast at marketing conferences about how big my Twitter following was or how my company's Facebook tactics resulted in thousands of dollars in revenue. Instead I resigned myself to just prioritizing my personal social media efforts, and from that really just focus myself on Facebook and Twitter, in that order. Only recently I joined the Instagram set, but to not much success really. I don't have clever photo angles or subjects. So there's that. I've avoided Foursquare and Pinterest, and I am ok with that. Facebook consumed me, not necessarily the effort that it took to maintain, but what I expected from it. Happiness when someone thought a status update was clever...confusion when what I thought a smart picture failed to get many "likes." My constant addiction to posting pictures and making sure I didn't look ridiculous got to me on the morning of March 23rd. I am exhausted. And I realized that while the original intent of it is still a possibility. I learned that I don't need "you" to approve of what I look like, how clever I am or whether or not you "like" what I have to say. In all fairness, I don't need to value myself based on these things and I kinda was. It was never fair how much responsibility and emphasis I gave individuals or the medium. There's a lot more here than I care to discuss openly but I did realize a few things.
What I need is an expressive outlet. So then I remembered this blog. And here I am, two years later. I have deactivated my Facebook account for now. Not sure for how long and besides what I've just drafted here, not sure why, really - but it feels good to not expect, want or need anything from any of you besides sincere, good old-fashioned friendship. And I mean that in the most sincere, and selfish way. Thanks for reading.
It's been a dark, gloomy day today. Somehow it's already almost 6PM. Luckily I've made it a productive one, starting with Barry's Bootcamp at 8, made lunch, cleaned the kitchen, my desk, room and even did a load of laundry. I think it was during my post work out session of "Real Time with Bill Maher" that I started exploring something that I've put on the back burner for years. Not sure if this is given the fact that I'm 10 years into my career, and I feel like a change may be good but I'm dreaming hard about the possibility of joining the Foreign Service with the Department of State.
Or is it doggy dog? It's been a hectic Saturday already. One that has been captioned by a story of my aunt's dog being mauled by another because he overstepped into foreign territory. It made me think...this is not so different from us humans. You know, the civilized, educated creatures that we are. Last night my friend Amy was also telling me about some drama she encountered after a girl's love interest held her in contempt for just being. I guess it's the fear of losing ground, territory, power or clout. Where does it come from? Is it our survival instinct? An insecurity? I've decided that I'm going to be as neutral and pacifist as possible. After all that is my nature. I'm avoiding drama like the plague. And maybe in doing so, I'll discover some things about me outside of this dog eat dog reality we live in.
After days of pouring rain in LA and presumably falling snow points east, I decided to venture out on a little road trip - just me and the 'trusty' Touareg out for an overnight adventure in my favorite place east...way east of LA - Palm Springs. The traffic was light, the air crisp and my mood surprisingly relaxed. Even as close as Downtown LA I could see the snow-capped San Gabriel Mountains, although moving farther east it was evident the best was yet to come and it did. It was a beautiful evening drive and morning return. I love Palm Springs in Fall, Winter and Spring. I wish I could say Summer as well, but I don't want to die by melting.
